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Deep thoughts by men while fishing

 

This thread was submitted to Hazel Grove

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BlueGrover
Good Citizen

BlueGrover
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
8th December 2011 at 7:12AM, Edit: 8th December 2011 at 7:12AM by BlueGrover
If you don't believe that a dog is a better friend than your wife try locking them both in the garage for an hour and then seeing which one is most pleased to see you when you let them out............
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JohnEllis
Citizen

JohnEllis
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
8th December 2011 at 2:46PM, Edit: 8th December 2011 at 2:47PM by JohnEllis
Lorry driver picks up female hitch-hiker, and chats her up affably as they drive along.

"You probably wouldn't guess that I'm a witch, and I can cast spells", she tells him.

"Nah, can't believe that", says he, "you're far too good-looking. Where's the broomstick and the pointy nose? I'll not believe that till you prove it".

So she put her hand on his leg, and he turned into a lay-by.
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seymourbutts
Townsperson

seymourbutts
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
9th December 2011 at 1:42AM
Jonathan Ross was accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
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cllrkevinhogg
Hazel Grove Councillor

cllrkevinhogg
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
15th December 2011 at 3:37PM
A refuse collector in Cairns, Australia, is driving along a street

picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the
spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he
gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer.

Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.
"Harro!" says the Chinese man.
"Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.
"I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
"No ! No ! Mate, Where's your dust bin?"
"I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Chinese man, still perplexed.
"Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your 'wheelie' bin?'"

"OK, OK." replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin and whispers in the collector's ear.

"I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"
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BlueGrover
Good Citizen

BlueGrover
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
17th December 2011 at 11:12AM
My mate has split up with his missus .She said he thinks about football more than he thinks about her. He was devastated, he'd been with her for 12 seasons.
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Guest xx
Drifter
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
21st December 2011 at 9:53AM
Christmas Angel Joke that made me smile...Have a wonderful Christmas and a peaceful New Year...xxxx

One Christmas, a long time ago, Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip; but there were problems ...... everywhere.

Four of his elves were away sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones. So, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then, Mrs. Claus popped in to tell Santa that her mother was coming to stay for Christmas; which stressed him even more.

After a while, he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and run away, heaven knows where to.

Then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards broke and several large toy-bags fell to the ground, scattering their contents all over the place. Needless to say, Santa was not in the best of moods.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and he went to the door expecting another problem. But when he opened it, there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree that she had brought especially to cheer him up.

The angel greeted him very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa Claus. Isn't it just a wonderful day? I have a beautiful tree for you. See, isn't it just the loveliest Christmas tree you've ever seen? Where would you like me to put it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.



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BlueGrover
Good Citizen

BlueGrover
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
21st December 2011 at 11:51AM
Can't wait to see what the catering's like for Kim Jong Ii's wake, I bet its the dog's b******'s............
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Coleman
Good Citizen

Coleman
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
21st December 2011 at 12:01PM
BlueGrover Wrote:

Can't wait to see what the catering's like for Kim Jong Ii's wake, I bet its the dog's b******'s............


That could explain all these missing cat's, they obviously knew it was coming so started stocking up ready!
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Limecat
Banned
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
21st December 2011 at 10:47PM
Coleman Wrote:

BlueGrover Wrote:

Can't wait to see what the catering's like for Kim Jong Ii's wake, I bet its the dog's b******'s............


That could explain all these missing cat's, they obviously knew it was coming so started stocking up ready!


Limecat approves of this post!
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BlueGrover
Good Citizen

BlueGrover
Re: DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING
22nd December 2011 at 2:19PM
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One's a superhero and the other is an instruction.
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